Grammar Nazis, Comma Crusaders, Noun Ninjas; we all know one. But, are they there to help us, or are they there to humiliate us?
Nearly any topic of discussion on social media these days will draw a plethora of comments supporting each side of the argument. In most cases, the argument will devolve from a simple discussion to each side hurling insults. When the usual insults fail to have the intended result, the involved parties will resort to scrutinizing each other's grammar for intellectual superiority.
In other instances, one may see an obvious grammatical error and offer a correction preceded by an asterisk. This, too, is generally poorly received. Whoever made the error in the first place either didn't know it was wrong, knew and didn't care enough to correct it, or did it intentionally to troll for Grammar Nazis.
The question is: does it even matter in the first place? English is one of the most difficult languages to master, and its complex rules and synonyms are the biggest source of angst for most people. Many native English-speakers are functionally illiterate: they can speak, read, and write, but they would have trouble passing a written test on the language.
The purpose of language is to share ideas. If one person speaks or writes something, and another person understands the idea, the language has done its job. Spelling and grammar provide clarity and disambiguation, but the consequences of their misuse are not exactly life and death.
On the other hand, most of what a Grammar Nazi will correct are the most basic Spelling and Grammar rules. They can't stand to see a misplaced apostrophe or a run-on sentence, but it's not often that someone takes the time to correct a dangling participle or a misplaced modifier. We are taught at a young age how to tell the difference between "your" and "you're", but it is one of the most common grammatical errors on the internet.
So, why the crisis? Why can't we just ignore poor grammar? I can't speak for every Grammar Nazi, but I can explain my viewpoint on the subject. I went to high school in the late-nineties (Class of 1999). I have not sat in an English classroom since the end of the first semester of my senior year, a little over eighteen years ago now. I was far from an ideal student then, too. I left a bad enough taste in my English teacher's mouth that she was still holding a grudge six years later when my little brother got to her class.
As I stated above, most of the mistakes commonly corrected by Grammar Nazis are basic spelling and punctuation rules. We learned the difference between "there", "their", and "they're" in elementary school. We knew plurals and possessives long before middle school. We learned that a period ends a sentence, and a comma indicates a pause. These are the things that turn everyone into an English teacher on the internet.
It's because these errors are so basic that they are singled out for correction. They represent the lowest tier of competence in English. And if you got through school without learning the basics of English, what other subjects did you ignore? Do you know what date men first landed on the moon (July 20, 1969)? Who cares, right? These days, it's easier just to buy into a half-assed conspiracy theory that we never went to the moon. Do you remember the chemical composition of salt (NaCl)? Could you figure the area of a seven-inch circle if you had to (38.465 square inches)?
In my text messages and personal Facebook posts and comments, I take certain liberties with correct grammar and punctuation. Sometimes, the character limit on Twitter requires me to get creative to get a point across. But, whenever possible, I try to use the language in the way it was intended to be used.
